I miss Zak. I hate not being able to talk to him. Or to hold him. Or to love him.
I honestly don't know where to go from here. My heart has been annihilated and I don't even know how to start picking up the pieces.
You know, I wanted to be with him forever. I wanted to be his everything, just like he was mine. Maybe I didn't show it enough, but I guess that's my fault. I didn't let him know exactly how much I loved him. On the other side of the fence, he showed his love in off-beat ways, so the entire situation got a little hairy at times.
God, what we had was so good at times. And already, within 24 hours, I miss that like crazy. I hope we can be friends at least, because he is definitely somebody that I want to keep around forever. I look up to him for his ability to remain calm and stable through anything, something that I wish I could be more like. He knows where he's going, has goals, good friends and family and so much overall support, its amazing. I'm sad that I am no longer apart of the family aspect.
I'm so stupid at times. He's so stupid at times. Why the hell must it be like this?
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